Download Boogers Are My Beat: More Lies, But Some Actual Journalism! by Dave Barry PDF

By Dave Barry

The hot York occasions calls him “the funniest guy in America,” and his legions of enthusiasts agree, giggling and snorting as they placed his books on bestseller lists nationwide.

In Boogers Are My Beat, Dave provides us the genuine scoop on:

• The medical look for the world’s funniest shaggy dog story (you can wager it comprises the notice “weasel”)
• RV tenting within the Wal-Mart parking lot
• Outwitting “smart” kitchen home equipment and repair contracts
• Elections in Florida (“You can’t spell Florida with out ‘duh’”)
• The Olympics, the place humans from around the world come jointly to accuse one another of cheating
• the reality concerning the Dakotas, the Lone Ranger, and feng shui
• the alternative among loss of life and taxes
And a lot, a lot more—including a few truths approximately journalism and severe options approximately 9/11.

Dave Barry gained the Pulitzer Prize for statement in 1988, and his columns are syndicated in additional than 500 newspapers. His latest books, Dave Barry isn't Taking This Sitting Down and the novels large Trouble and Tricky Business, have been nationwide bestsellers. He lives in Miami, Floriduh.

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Additional info for Boogers Are My Beat: More Lies, But Some Actual Journalism!

Sample text

First truth is, if you don't look so good, the chances of you hooking up with 'dream girl' or 'dream guy' are slim... not nonexistent, but damned slim. Though not always, dream people mostly tend to flock together, so don't fixate on dream people... it'll just break your heart. Of course, you might get lucky with a drunk one occasionally—don't count on it. Remember this, when you fall in love with somebody, that person becomes your dream person, so don't waste your time drooling over the ready-made variety.

This week, she’s not. He’s very attentive and personal when you’re alone with him – but not when other people are around. He tells others that he likes you but never shows it to you. She seems to want to be around you a lot but doesn’t get personal. You catch him looking at you a lot but he never says anything to you. He’s made it clear that he likes you but he doesn’t follow up on it. You seem to be developing a relationship but it’s kind of on and off. She seeks you out or calls you often but only talks about other guys.

One would be creepy with this) This is mostly for guys. Girls can use it, but girls have so damn many easy tricks, there should be one mostly for guys. So, first you need to know of a place, say, a restaurant, or a movie theater. You need to know the name of it. That done, you throw your beach blanket on the sand within earshot of your future conquest. Not too close as to be obvious. Next, began talking to your friend(s), ignoring whomever you're trying to meet. This establishes your little spot of territory, showing, by ignoring other people, that you didn't deliberately pick the spot cause it was near the girls.

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