By Terry Pratchett
« J'peux pas les vaincre, dit Mémé Ciredutemps. Ils ont l'esprit comme de l'acier. J'ai tout essayé. Toutes les ficelles que j'connais ! Le meilleur a failli m'avoir dans ma chaumière. Ma chaumière, tu t'rends compte ? J'ai jamais rien connu de tel. Ces vampires, ils ont appris des trucs. J'ai trouvé aucune faille chez eux, nulle half. Ils sont plus forts, ils réfléchissent vite… Moi je te l'dis, les affronter par l'esprit, c'est comme cracher contre une tempête.
— Tu vas faire quoi, alors ? demanda Nounou.
— Rien ! J'peux rien faire ! Tu comprends donc pas ce que j'te dis ? Ils connaissent tout en magie, ils sont rapides, ils nous prennent pour du bétail doué d'la parole… J'ai examiné le problème sous toutes les coutures et j'vois pas ce que j'peux faire. J'suis vaincue. D'avance. »
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Additional info for Carpe jugulum (Les annales du Dique-monde, Tome 23)
He was released back into the wild, where he is expected to enjoy years of free drinks in gopher pubs as he tells the story of his brush with death. Reference: Sacramento Bee, Hartford Courant NATURAL SELECTION: ANIMAL MISADVENTURES 43 HONORABLE MENTION: WOMAN DISARMED BY TIGER Confirmed by Darwin 22 MAY 2000, COLORADO Volunteer lends a hand. A twenty-eight-year-old wildlife volunteer at the Prairie Wind Animal Refuge was demonstrating the gentility of a captive Siberian tiger to visitors when the tiger demonstrated a more familiar trait of its species and ripped her arm off.
Alarmed, Prakesh kicked the tiger in the face to distract him. The tiger obligingly released Suresh and killed Prakesh instead. “I was shocked to see two young men weaving about in front of a tiger with garlands in their hands,” said witness Rakesh Banerjee. “I saw it all. ” Reference: Kunal Sen Gupta, Calcutta, India NATURAL SELECTION: ANIMAL MISADVENTURES 27 DARWIN AWARD: HUNGRY PYTHON KILLS OWNERS Confirmed by Darwin 11 OCTOBER 1996, NEW YORK If you let a twelve-foot python roam free in your home, you stand a good chance of qualifying for a Darwin Award.
The animal is presumed to have pressed the trigger with its paw, and police have ruled out foul play. Since it happened in a hunting preserve, the dog may elect to have the trophy head mounted on a wall in its doghouse. 1991, NICOSIA, CYPRESS Under similar circumstances, an Iranian hunter named Ali was shot to death near Tehran by a snake that coiled around his shotgun as he pinned the reptile to the ground. Another hunter reported that the victim tried to catch the snake alive by pressing the butt of his gun behind its head.